Consolations For Cares

The epidemic of worry is a terrifying wraith. This harrowing bacteria eats away at our strength and dignity we were once clothed with. It nags and torments, snagging and tearing away at the fabric of our personhood, until there is nothing but thin strands that dangle across our shoulders. There is no resemblance of peace and prosperity, but our once gentle skin is exposed to every harsh element, hope mocked by the rough reality of our circumstances.

In a world of projects and to-dos, it seems impossible to not be defined by our achievements or lack thereof. But the human tendency to provide a motivational speech or an encouragement to try harder next time are only reminders that we have fallen short. Healing is found in love’s simplicity, in consolation from something outside ourselves.

My soul is quieted by the ocean’s constant waves falling into the shore; The silence of a room at rest; My husband beside me, affirming even my vainest efforts; Knowledge that there are possibilities that reach beyond my abilities.

Threads are restrung and woven again into garments of peace and protection.

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Please excuse these musings of an emotional pregnant lady. They may seem like nonsensical ramblings, but as with most posts, they are more for me to process and document than for you. I know, I am incredibly selfish. I only hope my vulnerability counts for something.

Rainy Day Inspiration

Rainy days after a slew of blazing ones make me romantic and wistful. Today is a wonderful reprieve from the 100+ temps we've been having. Just before 6am Max and I awoke to startling thunder. It was beautiful. I love waking up to thunder and rain, especially when the window by our bed is open. It put me in the mood for some cutesy musical duets, Pete Yorn+Scarlett Johansson, M.Ward+Zooey, Andrew Bird+Emily Loizeau.

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Because I love having all my senses awakened so sweetly- by a cool breeze, thunder, soft colors in our room, rain's sweet smells, and a cozy bed- I wanted to share some gentle sweet things with you.

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Although they aren't so romantic, here's a song from one very talented male+female duet, David Byrne and St. Vincent. They are releasing an album September 11th and I am pretty excited. They create some marvelous sounds together.

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Some images from favim

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I love pictures that you can feel the texture in.

These ones make me especially excited for fall's crisp cool air.

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A couple at our birth class gave us one ginormous zucchini and the cooler weather today is perfect for baking some zucchini bread tonight. I love the smell [and taste!] of freshly baked bread. Who doesn't?

Quotes & Action

In the hunt for a new journal [which I still have not decided on, I think I have commitment issues with them] I've been looking up quotes on writing to get me inspired and to possibly put on the front. My first go-to was CS Lewis. Every time I pick up one of his books I am inspired to write. The way he uses language is easy to read, yet deep and thought provoking. Mark Twain is another writer like that. They are both the "for those who have ears to hear", or I guess "eyes to read and the minds to see past the obvious and into the heart of the writer". The language they use is quite different though.

Quotes are funny things to me. The creative side of me wants to say they are overrated and overused and we should be inspired by the things inside ourselves, not repeat what is around us. But the female [and human!] in me, craves the affirmation that I am not alone in my pursuits and struggles. To balance these two thought processes out I've decided to draw from quotes by people whose lives and actions [not just words] have made an impact on mine. 

A [Slightly] More Epic Decision

Remember when I said that thing yesterday about making an “epic decision,” well I was about 99.999% joking. I said that to make light of a slightly bigger decision Max and I had to make last week. I feel like we’ve had a lot of those this year. As stressful and overwhelming as they are, I love that each one we have talked through and made together. It’s been quite a pleasant surprise to feel continually more “joined” as we journey.

Last week’s decision-

When we made an offer on a house back in May, we knew it could easily take 3 months to hear back from the bank. Yet the 3 months has felt so much longer, especially as my belly grows and my patience and energy deplete. But here we are mid-August and no news other than that it is moving along, but still in the process. The tricky part is that our 6 month lease ends August 31^st and we found out last Wednesday that we had two days to either resign or say we were moving out. In hindsight, it wasn't really that hard, but because we felt rushed, confused, and discouraged [mostly me on that one] it was big.

We’ve decided to move out on the 31^st and move in with my parents until things with our offer clear up. We don’t know how long this will be, but we all feel a peace about it. Our main reason for moving out is that it will make the move into our house much easier. Everything will be packed up and we’ll just need to get it out of storage. Even as we have begun packing [we’ve got 2.5 weeks], I can’t imagine trying to do this a month later in the pregnancy or with a newborn. It is exhausting and overwhelming [and we’ve been finding lots of spiders, yuk!].

So there it is. In answer to the many questions, our baby room is not setup. It is currently non-existent. Our house is being overtaken by boxes and our baby furniture is in a pile in the basement and her clothes are in a box. As much as this hurts my heart, I am confident that all of these details are really not that important. We have a healthy baby on the way and we are surrounded by amazingly supportive friends and family. Not to mention a loving Father in Heaven who knows [and wants to meet] every need before we even ask. Those are good things.

 Here's the packing process so far.
I picked up all those boxes from the grocery store this morning. We'll see how far they get us. We've got a ways to go...

An Epic Decision

Monday? Is that really you?

I don't know what happened to the weekend. Or what happened to the first two weeks of August. But somehow they have come and gone without asking if I cared to hold on to them.

The weekend was full. Of course. Everyone tells us that once we have the baby we won't be able to run around and do whatever we'd like, so we cram our days/weekends/weeks full. And then I'm exhausted and want to lay around and sleep all day. I've been having some pretty frustrating sciatic nerve problems which will be fine for a day, so I'll be out walking and sitting on the ground. Living like my body is my own. But when one is 7 months pregnant it is most definitely not. All of this will leave me with a limp for several days, making me feel like a total gangster [ha!]. Our birth teacher [is that the proper term?] said there are some massages and chiropractic exercises that can dramatically help the nerve, so until I try them out I will stop complaining. [I really hate when people complain about things that have a simple solution].

Moving on...

I wish it was the opposite, but getting married and being pregnant has decreased my personal journal-ing. My current journal has taken me far too long to fill up [I can't stand to quit partway through]. As I am on the last pages, I'm excited to start a new one and have begun the hunt. Am I the only one who views a new journal as a new adventure? It's ridiculous how many stores I go to and how picky I am about something as simple as a journal. Thankfully my dear sweet husband caters to my "needs" and doesn't get annoyed when I leave another store empty handed. He even tries to help me out. Such a patient man.

Here's the deal: The journal can't be too big, thick, or heavy. It can't be too busy or too plain. The pages can't have far-spaced lines, but they can't be so overdone that there's no room to write. And they can't be over $20. Most importantly the book has to say "Carrie, write in me". I have to be inspired by it. 

Am I a little ridiculous?

This blog I follow featured this wonderful print shop last week. From what I can gather via the the interweb, their journals are just what I am looking for. They have some lovely designs, too many in fact, and I can't decide which one to get.

Grey Stripes

Balloons

Thoughts of a Major Journals

Soft Bouquet

You can change the title on this one. I love the design.

Words Not War

Flag Parade

Now that I put them all next to each other I think I like certain ones more.

Which is your favorite?

It's a pretty epic decision, right?

A Smidgen For Today

Some days I get little bits of prose stuck in my head. They're usually just three or four lines. I'll try to expand on them, but nothing fits. It all feels too contrived. So I they are usually dismissed. But I've decided they should be shared, no matter the length. This one came as I was filing at work. 

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When fear and doubt are raging strong

Make a heart whose feet do run

Ever swiftly to your throne

In its grace, being found and known

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I stumbled across this website yesterday. It has all sorts of lovely photos. As long as you search good, clean words. Anyways, I'm kind of addicted to their "vintage" section.

A Room For Little Miss H.

As I've mentioned, [just a couple dozen times] I can't wait to get in our house and setup our nursery. I've shared ideas for the dining and living rooms, but what is really the most exciting is Hanley's room! I'm not huge into themes or bright colors for baby rooms. I want something calm and peaceful. Like many things, my tastes have proven to be expensive. But [again] like many things I am willing to compromise and go DIY. Isn't it more fun to make your own hodgepodge than to follow exactly what someone else has designed? Putting thought and hard work into a project gives me such a feeling of satisfaction and pride.

The contrasting dark wood and light tones of this set from Pottery Barn Kids has been my main inspiration. 

We found a crib and mattress on craigslist that is similar to the one pictured above.

The dresser/changing table, also from craigslist, will [hopefully] look like this once we re-stain it.

Isn't this sheet from Pottery Barn Kids adorable? 

It went on sale so I had to snag one before they sold out.

The nursery has hardwood floors and I'd love to get a lush creamy rug like this one from Ikea to cozy it up.

I've seen this Ikea rocking chair alternative in several nursery designs and I absolutely love it. The minimalist style is great, and from reviews I've read it's also really comfortable and durable. Best of all, the cover is removable and machine washable. But alas, we don't have an Ikea in Spokane and I don't have any trips to Seattle or Portland coming up, so I'm not sure when [or if] I'll get it.

Now that I've shared my ideas for the nursery you can see how perfectly this print fits.

I just need to get a frame for it.

Some pretty sweet/darling stuff, I think.

Baby's arrival is coming so quickly. I can't believe I am almost at 30 weeks! At my dr. appointment the other day he said baby has a strong and healthy heartbeat and that everything is measuring right on schedule. There aren't words to describe how wonderful a feeling that is. He also said that if it seems like it's been going by fast so far, it's about to get even faster. There's such a mix of excitement, nervousness, and [lots] of anxiousness. I just keep reminding myself to breath deep and enjoy every moment of the journey.