Laid Down

Bend low, let  hair sweep the ground
One foot above floor boards,
Simplicity is hard to hear.

To live at its surface
Where dreams are wild,
Songs and words, senseless.

Find in grains of wood
Questions silenced,
For lack of care.

---

I've been captured with this idea the last few days that if I could just lay down on the floor, flat on the floor, I would find what it's all about. Maybe it's to wrestle and tickle my baby, or look up at emptiness, or perhaps I'm just tired. But there's a flicker of something- curiosity, insatiability, romanticism- that is ready to dwell in simplicity. I want to learn all its beautiful secrets and share them with this darkened world.

---

And more life bliss...

The skies have been so gorgeous lately. I wish I was a watercolor-pro and could recreate them.

I've got an explorer baby.

Gardening has never been a gifting of mine, so my ripening tomatoes are quite the achievement.


C.

He Himself

In between running the laundry and mopping every room in our house the other day I got this revelation: The Lord is not all that interested in a perfectly managed life. Working as an administrator, having a spatially-driven mind, and keeping [or attempting to keep] a strict budget, I can get serious OCD sometimes. It's difficult for my brain to comprehend that the God of order isn't too concerned about my to-do lists. As I pushed hard against the mop to get the crusted jam off my kitchen floor I started to wonder if it bothers Him that there's a stack of books on my night-stand that I got bored with and never finished, or that in my basement are many abandoned sewing projects.

What a brain scrambler. Thoughts jumbled, criss-crossed, upside-down.

I don't understand how all of my striving accomplishes so little, but produces so much anxiousness. Why do I endlessly move my pennies of ambition around hoping they'll somehow add up to something greater than the just-enough-to-get-by I've been experiencing?

I know this for certain, God is more than satisfied with these few dirty-pennies of giftings I shuffle from pocket to pocket. After all, God is full of grace, full of goodness, and ever faithful.

---

I feel bad for people who don't get to know our Hanley Rose. As younger[ish] parents we may miss out on some things our peers do, but she is the sweetest thing. Even when she does her 100% girl whine, or arches her back in protest. The joy and fulfillment she brings I could never have imagined. It's amazing, another brain scrambler.

There's so much happening around me that I want to savor and capture, hold tight and always remember.

We got to welcome a new niece into the world last week. She is sweet as can be.

I can feel summer winding down so we are filling in these last weeks with lots of walks, meals outside, and hopefully one last visit to the lake.

Fall is my favorite season and I'm looking forward to sweet bundled eskimo-esque outfits for my baby.

Having my baby at work with me is the most wonderful thing. She's learning all sorts of new tricks and I'm so glad I don't miss too much.

Lastly, I did complete one sweet little dress for my baby, it was really a joint effort. She picked out the fabric and hungout with me while I sewed, but was quite the wiggly model/muse.

Softness of Spirit & Inspired Living

Recently I've been convicted to live a more palpable life. To let my spirit and the things deep deep in my being come to the surface and affect my daily living. The self-sacrificing thing that comes with motherhood says, "I can do this. I won't complain about my unmet needs. My dreaming can wait." I won't go any further, we've all heard the same sad motherhood songs. What caught me out was hearing this, "If your vision isn't intimidating to you, it's most likely offending God." My heart was pricked, blood drawn. In all of my efforts to be an awesome, strong, full-of-grace woman, I've neglected to ask God what attitude/vision He would like me to carry. My conception that self-sustaining is His preferred route was refuted. He opts for the soul-bending overwhelming peace brought only by His hurricane-love.

---

Well that was interrupted. What is ever NOT interrupted? Hanley was having a rough time falling asleep. I had to remind myself, softness of spirit, allow myself to be inspired instead of frustrated... Ahh she fell into a deep, sweet slumber. So did I. And then interruption #2, husband on the phone, car died. Glorious. Of course when I'm at a high, a bomb drops. Softness of heart. Inspired living. Trusting, not striving.

---

Nevertheless I am continually with You;
You hold me by my right hand.
You will guide me with Your counsel,
And afterward receive me to glory.
Whom have I in heaven but You?
And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You.
My flesh and my heart fail;
But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

---