September 25, 2012


I've been thinking a lot about the power of the God that I serve, the Lord that I love.
His goodness, love, and mercy are well-known. We hear about how He reaches out to the hurting and the outcast, and I love all that. But my heart has felt a little heavy lately and I'm realizing that I've lost the awe of how full of power He is; that there truly is no one like Him. Situations that seem impossible to me really aren't. It's so easy to be overwhelmed by the issues in the world and so my soul must continually be reminded that the world's problems, not matter how big or small, do not define or change who God is.

Max and I were talking about it this way the other night. Our generation seems to have this notion that our experiences determine reality and truth. What we can see, feel, and understand with our minds, that is real. Yet that is so not how God is. Our experiences of God do not sum up the entirety of who He is. Christ's disciples spent 3 years doing everything with Him, watching and listening, yet their understanding still fell so short of who He is and what He came to do. So how do we, who have had only glimpses of Him so quickly rush to say, "God can/would/should do this."

What I am saying in all of this is that Paul had it so right when he wrote in Romans 8,
"For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. Because the carnal mind is enmity [some translations say hostile] against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be. So then, those who are in the flesh cannot please God."

I'm not talking about perfection or self-righteousness. I'm talking about relinquishing our minds to be ruled not by our own understanding, but by the Spirit of God.

Just another of those simple-yet-hardest-to-do challenges that God puts forth to His children.

I am totally impatient to meet our little Hanley Rose.

September 19, 2012

Worth the Waiting

My due date was one month from yesterday and the thought of holding my baby in just a matter of weeks makes me ecstatic. I've been trying to occupy my mind with other thoughts, but I'm trapped in babyland, dreaming [literally] about holding and snuggling my sweet Hanley. And then waking up less than happy. My poor husband.

And how has it been two weeks since my last post? We've been just a little busy-- Settling in at my parents. Doctor appointments. Maternity pictures. Birth classes. Cathedral Pearls' last show for a little while. Baby shower. Figuring out what last items I need to take care of. And you know, growing [or at this stage just fattening up] a baby! And then the day-to-day work stuff. Naps have never been more glorious!

In the midst of so much transition and anticipation the last few weeks have been a bit rough emotionally. Some days I feel like a moody jr. high girl [which is only reinforced by the fact that I am living in my parent's basement].

Pregnancy has no doubt held many many joys and memories that I will forever cherish. I don't think I'll ever forget the excitement when I looked at the pregnancy test with two very clear pink stripes and screamed at Max while he was in the shower, "MAX!!! I'M PREGNANT!!!!!" But reminding myself to cherish these last few weeks of the pregnancy is not so easy. Am I crazy for wanting to enjoy pregnancy? I don't hear many women talk about experiencing a glorious end to the quest of growing a baby [remember the mom and daughter in Father of the Bride II at the end of their pregnancies?] I'm not expecting a blissful, painless journey, but I do meditate on this verse often.

Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

I know it's not theologically sound, but here we go;
Witnesses- All the billions of women who have made it through pregnancy.
Encumbrance & Sin- Discomfort, pain, emotional craziness.
Jesus- Me
Joy set before me- Baby girl.

Blasphemous, I know. I don't assume to possess the authoring and perfecting qualities. I'm not that crazed by surplus hormones raging through my body.

And in closing, here are a few pictures from the maternity session my sister did last week. They are pretty wonderful if I do say so myself. I can't wait to see more.

 for more of her work, creativelyyoursphotography