April 20, 2014
Winter whispered to go and hide, to be covered in blankets and let dreaming die. Now I require a spring cleaning of the heart- To be purged of excess cares, brush away dust that's accumulated on faith, and let my skin feel the warmth of friendship. Spring is here to call me out, go find the sun, and stretch my legs. Air crisp and cool has quickly cut to the core of all my vain efforts, exposing the dead branches of worry. Today I can trim back the hedge, my failed attempt at coverering the unkempt grounds of my heart. Today I can boast that dead things can become alive, and not by positive attitudes or perfectly laid out plans. Today I can surrender to love that is not earned and grace that I did not buy. Today I can be found as I am, and be glad.
April 16, 2014
I'm amazed at the rhythm my body gracefully falls into, rocking-soothing until peace again overtakes us both. Her arms draped across my shoulders, staring up with tired eyes that soften my heart more than 10 dozen roses or the biggest diamond ring ever could. Pursed lips, leaning in to kiss, and one last squeeze from those delicate arms- No need to search any further for such deep contentment. Rolling on the floor, wrestling, and tickling have become the very best after dinner activity. Even with all the kicking-screaming fits and complete exhaustion, I've never been so sure that I was made for something. I am made to mother.
My discovery has also been that motherhood has little to do with knowing the best home-remedies or tried-and-true methods, but has everything to do with hearts and souls connecting to nurture the gift that is our child. I'm not very good at reading (and completing) self-help books, but raising our child and our children to be, is the best self-help I can ever do.
I will never be so weary and needing of a Savior, never more moved beyond myself, and never so abundatanly rewarded.