Christmas was wonderful. Full of joy and love, delicious food and great gifts. Tomorrow shall bring a more cheerful post, but this has been on my heart as of late so I thought I would share.
Sometimes I feel this nasty awful thing growing inside of me. The source is easily detectable to me now- it's too much of my attention focused on the people around me and not enough on the One who lives inside of me. I won't assume this to be a struggle for everyone, but I've had enough heart-to-heart talks to know there is no scarcity of this evil weed of comparison. It grows and festers in wounds of doubt and self-consciousness, producing a deadly venom. Surely I can't be the only one who on occasion will spew forth sarcasm that reeks of spite and not of the joviality I attempt to disguise it with!
I want to do a few posts on this subject, but will share them on no specific timeline other than the one my mind travels on, speeding and slowing at its own stubborn will.
I'll tell you this, comparison has been one of my biggest struggles from childhood until now. It's cracked and crooked finger relentlessly points at all the things I am not and should be, and all the things I am and shouldn't be. Wicked and sour are the accusations I swallow, and lethal are the words that flow out of my own mouth.
I hope my honesty isn't too much for you. I realize open heart operations are usually kept to oneself, but I don't feel that is necessary in this case. The contents are far to common and fatal to not address. Prying them loose from the dark corners where they lurk is a great first step. To see things in the light of truth makes all the difference.
Sometimes I feel this nasty awful thing growing inside of me. The source is easily detectable to me now- it's too much of my attention focused on the people around me and not enough on the One who lives inside of me. I won't assume this to be a struggle for everyone, but I've had enough heart-to-heart talks to know there is no scarcity of this evil weed of comparison. It grows and festers in wounds of doubt and self-consciousness, producing a deadly venom. Surely I can't be the only one who on occasion will spew forth sarcasm that reeks of spite and not of the joviality I attempt to disguise it with!
I want to do a few posts on this subject, but will share them on no specific timeline other than the one my mind travels on, speeding and slowing at its own stubborn will.
I'll tell you this, comparison has been one of my biggest struggles from childhood until now. It's cracked and crooked finger relentlessly points at all the things I am not and should be, and all the things I am and shouldn't be. Wicked and sour are the accusations I swallow, and lethal are the words that flow out of my own mouth.
I hope my honesty isn't too much for you. I realize open heart operations are usually kept to oneself, but I don't feel that is necessary in this case. The contents are far to common and fatal to not address. Prying them loose from the dark corners where they lurk is a great first step. To see things in the light of truth makes all the difference.
pretty sure you aren't alone on this one my dear, and i agree! it's always great to talk about this issue...especially among lady friends. it eases everyone's worries a bit and opens the door for true friendship where you don't have to think so much about how you stand up among the people around you, but more how you can help stand each other up with encouragement.
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